I don’t want to delve too deeply here. I’m not looking for the answer as to why we exist or anything, but if we don’t have a purpose then it’s all too easy to get lost in the fog of life. Clearly the Pandemic has had a negative effect on every one of us and although I am not blaming Covid-19 for my own wandering mind, what it has done is provide time to think about things, on all the long days when I’ve been at home.

So purpose- well I lost mine this year. Well and truly. I began to wonder who I was, what I was doing and where I was going. I’ve always worked. When my daughter was born I was a freelance makeup artist, so there was no maternity benefits for me. I only stopped for three months and then went back to work, although in truth, I rarely got a job more than three days in a week.

I’ve always been passionate and focused in my job and deeply involved with the people and the brands I’ve worked for. Then I stopped. It was my choice, but the word “retired” doesn’t exist in my vocabulary, so I needed to embark on my next journey. 

I stopped because I realised I’d lost my passion and in doing so, myself.  I’d spent my entire working life aiming to make people and brands look good, helping them become well known, but what I discovered, was in doing so, I’d ignored my own status. I felt I was an under-achiever, unsuccessful.  I’d lost my way.  To the outside world I seemed confident and sure, but inside I felt I wasn’t good enough.  It was as if I’d achieved what I’d achieved by ‘imposter syndrome’.

I’ve spent a long time looking deeply into myself and though he would be devastated I’m saying this, I know it’s partly my father’s fault. He was overly strict, not a risk-taker by any means and inclined to say I wouldn’t ever be a success if I progressed my teenage dreams (in my case of becoming a fashion designer.) And for some reason I cannot explain, I went along with him.

I know I am not alone in behaving in this way. Far too many of us have under-achieved or not reached their dreams (at least in our own eyes,) because a parent has stopped them.

People have said to me, “Why don’t you do it now,become a fashion designer!” But for me, that moment had past. However, we are adults and it’s never too late to pursue our goals. What I’ve discovered is mine have changed, but the ambition is still there.

I believe we all need to think what we want, how we can get it, and then make plans and set goals.  Now I’m not suggesting you set about ruling the world, it might be you want to support a charity, learn a new skill or sport or even set about improving your home or garden.  It can be as small or as big as your vision.

What I will say is that it was only when I confessed my own lack of purpose and saw the reactions from others that I began to find it!  Suddenly I felt great warmth and it opened up my thoughts and if you like, my creativity.

I realised I needed to open my arms to women and give them guidance, empathy and strength because I realised we could all find our purpose together.  We could gain mutual benefits by sharing our knowledge and our experiences.  So here I am, writing words I hope will resonate with you.

Have you noticed your hair is falling out more than usual? I have.  So has my daughter. Whilst I wouldn’t say it’s a serious problem in our cases, the shower blocked up and we saw more hair than usual falling out when we washed our hair.  And apparently we’re not alone. Over the last few months many other people have become aware of their hair thinning.

A few weeks ago actor Alyssa Milano ‘went viral’ after posting a video in which she spoke about her personal experience of hair loss after contracting Covid 19.  On her video, posted on Instagram and Twitter, Alyssa brushed through her hair to show just how much her hair was ‘falling out’.

Hair loss is not unusual after serious illness and is also commonly associated with stress and trauma, which probably explains why so many people are complaining of hair loss, even if they haven’t had any actual illness.  Clearly, over the last few months, lots of us have certainly been affected by stress. From the experiences of lockdown, to job and financial uncertainty, an inability to visit family and friends, to cancelled holidays and the threat of quarantine, 2020 has thrown all kinds of trauma at us all.

The form of hair loss associated with illness and stress is called ‘telogen effluvium’.  Of course, in itself, suffering from hair loss is both stressful and distressing, which can make matters even worse. The good news is, if you happen to have this issue, it’s very unlikely to be permanent and in time your hair will grow back.

However there are a few things you can do.  If you have an up and coming hair appointment, do mention your concerns to your hairdresser, who should be able to offer advice.  If the problem is serious, the solution is to seek advice from a doctor, dermatologist or trichologist, but for most people trying products readily available will help solve your problem, (although, due to the growth cycle of hair it may be 3 – 6 months before you notice a real difference.)

Obviously it’s normal to lose hairs from your head each day and the fact that during lockdown many of us tended to wash and brush our hair less than usual could be one reason noticing your hair fall. And remember, on average people lose between 50 and 100 hairs per day, plus, the longer someone’s hair, the more they will notice the loss.

So what can you do yourself? 

One brand to look at is Anacatelos (anacatelos.co.uk ) It’s a scientist-owned brand with absolute efficacy and formulations based on chemistry. Products include a Hair Growth Serum that’s trichologist approved and results in visible hair growth.

Another brand to look at is Viviscal (viviscal.co.uk ) As well as a densifying shampoo and conditioner, they have Viviscal Max Strength Tablets, to promote the growth and repair of hair cells.

Kerotin (kerotin.com ) is a self-care brand helping women successfully steer through changes in their lives. Even in normal times, women undergo many hair transitions, Kerotin aims to provide high quality products to help women achieve their hair goals. Look at Freshening Shampoo and Conditioner to rejuvenate the hair follicles and stimulate hair growth.

Of course, as we age our hair changes too and post menopause many women notice their hair thinning, but don’t suffer silently! There are products to help and advice to be gained. Beautiful hair doesn’t have to be a dream, it’s accessible.

#hair #haircare #hairloss #hairgrowth #stress #shampoo #hairserum

On 14^th March we drove back to Cornwall from London after deciding not to get on the plane for my planned birthday weekend in Seville. (A wise decision BTW as the flight back was cancelled.)

Since then I’ve been here in Cornwall.  That’s a first for me, as my habit (and work life) has, for the last 16 years, meant I’ve been in London for 2 days most weeks. Being here, at home, has had a profound effect on me and forced me to learn things about myself I didn’t realise………

Firstly I’ve recognised my frequent absences from home have meant I don’t know many people and have a really small circle of friends, so I need to work on not being lonely.  Secondly, my programme of self-imposed travel meant I was always catching up; getting ready to leave, planning meals, trying to get on top of shopping, laundry and cleaning, and as a result, often feeling tired.  Thirdly I’ve discovered my passion for the sea is much stronger than I imagined.  In those Lockdown weeks when we had to stay near our home base I found myself longing to jump in the car for the short, (but banned,) drive to the sea.  It resulted in some truly dark days and when I could finally walk along the cliffs and beaches, a profound joy.

Back at the end of March I wrote an article for a website on mental well-being  during Lockdown and talked about finding your creative side, reading books, writing, learning a language, painting etc etc.  By mid-April, I realised I wasn’t going to actually do any of those things I’d written about. It was as much as I could do to drag myself out of bed.

…………I thought too I’d write regular blogs, make videos, learn about SEO and growing my following……but that never happened.

Then there was the cooking. Goodness we’ve eaten well! Life and conversation centred on food. What shall we have for lunch? Dinner? Breakfast? Afternoon tea? Which supermarket has a delivery slot? When’s the local fisherman selling his scallops? We’ve been lucky to with a weekly artisan bread delivery from ‘Baker Tom’s’ van, parked in the village pub car park; fruit, vegetables, milk, cheese and meat from the local farm shop and fish from the wholesale fish merchant, whose normal schedule is delivering to restaurants all over Cornwall and as far away as London.  Then there was a point, several weeks ago, when I felt as if I never wanted to cook again. (A friend said it was my own fault as I’d “raised the baton too high to start with”!) ….And thankfully the last few weeks of sunshine and warmth have led to us having an unprecedented number of barbecues, which requires (at least on my part) a lot less flare.

So, five months later, I’m still here in Cornwall and not going anywhere.

And that brings me to this blog.  I started ‘Behind the Woman’ to talk to women, (and anyone who cares to read my ramblings) about style, beauty, makeup and hair, inspired by the knowledge I’ve gained throughout my career……but I’ve decided to add Cornwall into the mix, so from now on, you’ll see snatches of walks I’ve taken, places I visited, restaurants I’ve eaten in and photos of the places I love.  I guess, it’s about a glimpse of my life, and one I hope you’ll enjoy.

So, after 5 months I’m back! Happy days.

#blog #blogger #cornwall #cornwalllife #cornwallliving #explorecornwall #mylifeincornwall #behindthewoman #lifestyle #lovecornwall #home

When did this start? What am I talking about? What day of the week is it? When did I last wear ‘proper’ shoes or pick up a handbag? What shall I eat tonight/for breakfast tonight/NEXT? What day is tomorrow? ……,

These and other rambled and scrambled thoughts are constantly going through my head at the moment!

I just checked and this is day 11 of the UK’s version of ‘lockdown’ & day 18 of my family’s self-imposed social isolation. I only know this because it was my birthday on March 15th and that was the last time I got anything like dressed-up….Now, that seems like a lifetime away.

I’ve almost forgotten the feeling of hurrying to get ready to go out, ambling around shops or going for a coffee. I’m not looking at the online sites I browse when there’s nothing on Netflix that appeals…. though it has to be said there have been a few Amazon purchases & deliveries, including a bark shredder, and EIGHT bags of Buckwheat…. ordered in error instead of wholemeal strong bread flour! Well it sounds similar doesn’t it? Fortunately Buckwheat makes very good pancakes and with 1/4 wholemeal flour, highly acceptable bread. Phew!!

But let’s face it: LIFE IS WEIRD.

Strangely enough though, there’s a feeling of security- at least for those of us not working on the ‘front-line’. That old saying: “An Englishman’s home is his castle” rings true.

As long as I’m in the 4 walls of my home, I feel safe. Then there’s the silence and the new sounds it brings! Do birds always sing so loudly? Except!!! At certain times there has been a cacophony of chain saws and power-tools… and the distant moan of the power-hose. No wonder the sales of online garden tools are rocketing!

But I’m also all too aware, whilst I’m here in my quiet ‘castle’, not far away people are gasping for their lives and medical staff are working to the point of exhaustion and more. In supermarkets, staff are dealing with a frustrated and often rude public, whilst putting their own health at risk to serve us….

It’s as if there are 2 parallel worlds and we, the ones safely in our homes, will hopefully never have to cross that line into the other chaotic and frightening world.

And everything I read tells me I should be using this time to be creative, learn a new language, keep a diary, de-clutter my wardrobe or read more…. but so far I haven’t had the time -or inclination.

But maybe it doesn’t matter. This is about survival…..,Better go and have a cup of tea and a crumpet whilst I think about being grateful for being here, now.

#staysafe #stayhome

NO MAKEUP or NATURAL MAKEUP looks can be as hard to apply as stronger makeup looks such as the every-popular “smoky eye”, but of course, most of the time, you just want to create a better look than the real you, to give your confidence a boost and to feel good about yourself.

Then there’s the problem of time.  Everyone seems to be rushing around these days, so most of the time you want your makeup look to be achieved in minimal time.

My solution to this is to achieve the max results with minimal products.  And, here’s my solution: 5 minutes and 5 products.

1. Starting off with a good serum foundation, with a protective SPF, I used Bobbie Brown Intensive Serum Foundation Factor 40.  This is easy to apply with finger tips, a brush or a sponge, gives good coverage (enough not to need concealer) and importantly offers your skin protection. 
2. Next, under my cheekbones I used a soft, biggish brush to apply PÜR Mineral Glow Illuminating Bronzer 8306 with a soft brush.  I also used this in the crease of my eyes.
3. On my brows I used Rimmel Brow Pro Micro to refine and shape.
4. I used PÜR Big Look black mascara on my top and bottom lashes….so effective you only need one coat.
5. On my lips I used Bobbie Brown Crushed Liquid Lip in Hippy Shake and also applied 3 dots to the “apples” of my cheeks, blending with my fingers.
6. Lastly I applied a dot of PÜR No Filter Primer to my cheekbones, blending upwards and outwards. Then I added another dot to my eye-lids.

This is my ‘go to’ kind of makeup when I haven’t the time or energy to make the effort, but just want to enhance my face and I think you can see from my before and after looks – a bit of effort is definitely worth while!!!

Want to find out more about these brands? Go to:

Bobbie Brown:              www.bobbibrown.co.uk

PÜR Beauty:                 www.lookfantastic.com

Rimmel London:           www.rimmellondon.com

The ultimate classic haircut, the Bob, is once again bang on trend and I’ve embraced it!

I hadn’t had my hair cut or coloured for 4 months, even managing to go through Christmas and New Year without a visit to a hairdresser, but a few weeks ago, my lack of style got to me.  I think your hair leads your style image.  It doesn’t matter if it’s one length long hair, as long as it’s shiny and healthy. Mine looked “endy” and as I’m lazy when it comes to styling I knew I need the chop!

I toyed with a few styles: a layered mid-length look with a fringe, (very Boho,) a round layered shorter look, a Lob, or a classic one length, bob without a fringe. My lovely friend, TIGI European Session Director, Maria Kovacs, took one look at me and said, “No question! Bob!” So we found a corner in our studio and she cut inches off my hair.  This she did by cutting from a centre parting so I can wear my hair parted on both sides or in the middle, and on the side it gives a slight asymmetric look. She styled it with Bed Head After Party and spritzed with Bed Head Headrush…..And I was instantly revived.  The compliments haven’t stopped coming since.

In wearing a Bob I’m joining an elite group! The Bob has seen a huge trend resurgence led by Hollywood celebs and looks to be the hair cut of 2020.  Straight or waved, ‘Lob’ length or short, the hairstyle of the moment was seen at the 2020 Golden Globes and Oscars on a huge number of stars including Naomi Watts, Greta Gerwig, Zoey Deutch, Reece Witherspoon, Michelle Williams, Natalie Portman and Lucy Boynton.

“The Bob’s timeless!” Maria said, “It’s youthful, chic, and lends itself to many textures. It’s really adaptable too. Anyone can look good wearing the Bob.  One of its enduring aspects is that it instantly gives the wearer a new image, without compromise or the fear of losing too much length.

And look who’s worn a Bob! What about Elizabeth Taylor in Cleopatra? It’s an historical reference..and it’s Elizabeth Taylor!”

But there’s more to the Bob than being stylish as there are underlying links of this on-trend haircut to historical, political and economic changes …and the on-going rise of ‘girl-power’.  In fact you could say it’s a symbol of emancipation and freedom, not just an enduring trend.

Nowadays the word ‘empowerment’ has become symbolic with women’s rights, but this evolving movement has been bubbling up since the women first won their political and social freedom during the “roaring twenties”. With an increased number in work, for the first time women had financial freedom, so it’s no surprise that during the 1920s both fashion and hair styles demonstrated women’s emancipation.  And, it was during this decade The Bob became widely popular, having first been worn some 10 years earlier by a forward thinking few. It’s even been suggested that perhaps the name ‘Bob” was a reference to the androgyny of the cut itself.

In the early ‘20s The Bob was often ‘Marcel-waved,’ or permed, but in the latter years, the shape became more severe, as famously worn by the Jazz Age icon, actress Louise Brooks.  The characters Brooks’ played were rebellious, seductive and showed sexuality, leading to the Bob to be linked to freedom and sensuality that strongly appealed to young female movie-goers of the era.

During the Swinging 60s, the Bob, along with short hemlines and The Pill, again demonstrated the rebelliousness and freedom of women, perfectly worn by fashion designer Mary Quant and model Twiggy. The Bob was part of a style trend that illustrated the power of ‘youth’, and came with a decade of change in social norms with the emergence of new music genres, drug-taking, sexual freedom, political and student uprisings.

In the early 90s women began to gain real power (or so they thought.) The shiny Bob re-emerged as a trend-led hairstyle. From Posh Spice, aka Victoria Beckham, to Courtney Love and Winona Ryder, women began symbolising a new rebelliousness and a shiny or textured bob was a stamp of their power. And for some, like American Vogue’s Anna Wintour, the Bob has become an enduring style significant with their power and image.

100 years after women first wore the Bob it has re-emerged as a fashion trend. Is this linked to a female empowerment? Women are certainly fighting hard for equal opportunities and equal pay, making their ambitions heard at the highest level. With the ‘Me-Too’ movement they are increasingly standing up for themselves, yet in reality there are still few women in top roles and women are still abused in the work place.  Does the Bob signify success or is its androgyny the appeal to women wanting to make their mark in the world?

Which brings the Bob back to me. This isn’t my first generation Bob. I had a permed, curly bob in the mid-80s, a soft layered bob in the 90s followed by a sharp Lob and full fringe. It’s been a while since I’ve returned to this look, but one thing I can say, in all its variations, it’s made me feel as if I can conquer anything, stand up to anyone and definitely rock it!

#hairstyle #bob #haircut #mylook #mystyle #tigi #bedhead #cut

What’s the opposite of a foot-fetish I wonder? Because I tell you what, I think I have it!!

I don’t like feet and I don’t like people touching my feet. This is partly because I’ve got ticklish feet and quite frankly, if anyone comes near them, I shudder. Of course, I like my feet to look nice, and my nails painted, but each time I have a pedicure I actually have to mentally prepare myself , so as you can imagine, it’s not a regular beauty ritual in my life, even though, when I take the risk and have one, I’m always delighted with the results. My friends all embrace a pedicure at every opportune moment. Me? I stick with a facial, or a manicure.

It’s easy to injure feet too; dropping things on them so the nails go black and eventually fall off, banging them – goodness they’re easy to break aren’t they, wearing ill-fitting shoes or high, high heels and getting awful blisters, not to mention all the horrible fungal infections feet seem to attract. Urgh!

But that’s not all! I absolutely hate that my second toe is longer than my ‘big toe’. Now I know this isn’t particularly uncommon, but still! When I Googled this ‘unsightly-ness’  it said it is often called a ‘Royal’ or ‘Greek’ toe. Quite attractive I thought. But no!  It’s clearly a freakish thing, the result of the first metatarsal, behind the big toe, being short compared to the second metatarsal, (if you know what I mean. So I’m disfigured too!! )

Of course I want beautiful feet with soft skin and pretty, perfectly painted nails, so I’m determined to start a new regime. This is why I was excited to find a lovely creamy foot-cream, called LOTIL FOOT CREAM.  It’s really nourishing and you get the feeling from the very first use that it’s softening, soothing and moisturising the skin, yet it’s also easily absorbed.  It’s got Aloe Vera and rosemary extract, both known for their healing properties. And I’m obviously very slow to the game, as I Googled LOTIL and found out the company is over 100 years old.

Plus! As my husband is a Type 1 diabetic, I was also interested to see it’s recommended by Diabetes UK as well as by chiropodists, podiatrists and dermatologists.  So now I’ve got him using it too, (which quite frankly is miraculous) and by the time we go off on a little holiday for our anniversary in a few weeks, I’m sure we’ll both have the softest smoothest skin.  Who knows – I might even have a pedicure before I go!

I bought LOTIL FOOT CREAM online from Weldricks Pharmacy and it was on special offer at £4.49 (usual price £5.38) Bargain!

www.lotil.co.uk

http://www.weldricks.co.uk

ARE YOU CONSTANTLY CHECKING YOUR PHONE?

Does it buzz with the latest BBC or Sky news when you’re in an important meeting, or flash at you when you’re at dinner or the theatre?

We know Constant Communication creates stress, but how do we stop?

When my mother was 80 she had a massive heart attack. Fortunately, she was revived by the cardiac team at her local hospital, but when I finally arrived at the hospital the consultant said to me: “We had to fight to save your mother, if this happens again what should we do?” My response was: “Is her brain affected? If not, then I suggest you allow her to make the decision.” (In fact she had a “living will”, but I didn’t mention that.) Anyway I am going off-track……..She recovered, but the attack left her with heart failure and over the ensuing years she had heart attacks every couple of months. I became constantly fearful of the phone ringing, and a voice announcing, usually in the early hours of the morning, that she’d had yet another attack. I developed migraines and wouldn’t go anywhere without a fully charged mobile phone. I slept with 2 phones on my bedside table. 12 years later, my mum passed away, after a few weeks of fast-deteriorating health. I had grieved many times over those years and though of course, I was very sad, one thing immediately changed and greatly improved my own well-being: I was no longer fearful of the ringing phone.

……But I am not telling you this story because I want you to feel sorry for me, nor is it about grief; it’s about our reliance on modern technology. Where once a racing pigeon brought news and happy and sad events were shared via “snail-mail” or a telegram, now it’s emails, What’s App, Messenger, Instagram DMs, texts and mobile phones that keep us constantly in the know 24/7. And let’s face it, that’s not all good. I’m not talking about the 7 year old fixated with a games App, or a Gen Z watching Youtube Vloggers, or Millenials constantly looking at ASOS and buying stuff they don’t need, I’m talking about me, (us) – Baby Boomers, for whom digital communication could be managing us and our lives. It’s about checking your teen or twenty-something’s What’s App when they’re late home to see what time they last checked in. (Agreed! This can of course reduce your stress.) It’s about going on holiday and looking weird as you take photos with your I-Pad, or wondering why your ‘bestie’ hasn’t responded to your Message for 3 days, or why the colleague who sits across the office hasn’t replied to your email, (and when she does, she says, “Why didn’t you Skype me?”) Oh, the dilemmas of modern life! And my pet hate: people who walk along the street talking very loudly into their phones and looking as if they are talking to themselves.

 

So come on………Who looks at their mobile phone the second they wake up? (Guilty.) Who takes pictures of the food they cook or eat in restaurants? (Me.) Who get’s stressed when they’ve dressed up for something special and no one will take a quick picture? (Uh! That could be me too.) Who curates their life on IG (OK!) Who gets in a panic if they leave the house and forget their phone? (Confused, but not actually fearful in my case.)

     

Last week on the last night of my holiday, we were in a restaurant and unusually for me, I was staring at my husband and the wall behind him, instead of the vista of the entire restaurant and the possibility of watching people, but then my husband became fixated not on me, but by a couple on the table behind us. Throughout their meal, the man was playing on his phone whilst the woman sat there, clearly bored. “Obviously married a long time,” was my husband’s theory. Where once people watched television or read a paper (both dreadful habits,) whilst eating, now they play with their phones.

These days there’s so much talk about mindfulness, purpose, living a meaningful life…. I could go on …..but just maybe, the secret to improving our lives is as simple as walking on a beach or through a wood, or even exploring a city, and seeing everything through your own eyes, not filming ourselves and sharing the experience, just listening to the sounds: be it waves, birdsong or the sounds of traffic – and appreciating what you hear. Perhaps it’s about simple conversation for conversation’s sake, listening to someone else, for no reason apart from allowing them to speak, or sitting quietly and reading a proper book with real pages to turn.  ……….All this sounds easy doesn’t it? But would you try it? Shall we give it a go?……….This, by the way, is a lesson to myself.

 

 

 

#communication #iphone #whatsapp #stress #technology #mindfulness #communication #babyboomers #vloggers #millenials